At the beginning of Death Cab for Cutie's song, "I Will Follow You Into the Dark," you can hear Benjamin Gibbard take a breath.
There is, of course, plenty to unpack from that song already, but I truly believe that single, shaky breath before it even really begins, is perhaps the most integral part.
Following anything into the dark is no small feat. Whatever you are pursuing - another person, love, a deeper understanding of yourself or someone you love, a new adventure in life - stepping into the unknown is truly, gut-wrenchingly terrifying. How could it not be? We only know what we already know.
This weekend I drove to Southern Utah to spend some slow time alone with myself in the snow and the stars and the red sand. I thought about forks in our paths and the moments when we reach them. I wondered why the trails that require us to be brave consistently lead to our most meaningful discoveries.
Throughout all of that pondering over campfire coffee at sunrise, I kept coming back to that single, shaky breath before. Because it is okay to be afraid of that first step.
Doing it scared is just as brave. Honestly that fear shows us that we're approaching something that matters to us. Anything we build meaning from requires courage.
It is okay if it takes a moment, or five, or ten. It’s okay to take that long, deep, calming breath - even if it rattles with fear.
The real poetry is in what you choose to come next.
Ray Bradbury talks about how we must be brave enough to jump off of cliffs for the things that matter most, because we will build our wings on the way down. If you’re lucky enough, you might even have someone willing to make that leap into the abyss of unknowns with you.
I hope when you reach those edges, you decide some things in life are worth leaning in for.